Current:Home > Scams'Chronically single' TikTokers go viral for sharing horrible dating advice -InvestTomorrow
'Chronically single' TikTokers go viral for sharing horrible dating advice
View
Date:2025-04-13 13:49:41
Are you in a relationship and giving unsolicited dating advice? Your "chronically single" friends may like a word.
Single people are going viral on TikTok for sharing the most unhelpful dating tips they've gotten from well-meaning friends in relationships. In one of the videos, with 4.6 million views, a woman shares some of the most frustrating clichés she hears as a self-described "chronically single 25-year-old."
At the top of her − and many others' − lists: "It'll happen when you least expect it."
"Will it?" she asks. "Quite some time actually I have not expected it, and it still hasn't happened." Another contender? Stop looking, and that's when you'll find it. "I haven't been looking, and it's the not looking, I fear, that has resulted in years of absolutely no contact with a man," she adds.
Her video has inspired a slew of other TikTokers to share the unhelpful advice they've heard − and dating experts say the trend speaks to frustrations single people feel not only with modern dating but also with people in relationships giving unwanted or out-of-touch feedback.
"Dating is harder than ever before," says Amy Chan, a dating coach and author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart." "These platitudes are really condescending and minimize people's emotional experiences, and I think people are fed up."
More:People are paying thousands for 'dating boot camp' with sex experts. I signed up.
What 'chronically single' people are tired of hearing
The "chronically single" trend has been a way for singles to come together and commiserate over the worst dating advice they've received. Experts say it highlights how common some of these seemingly harmless platitudes have become − even if they're actually damaging to finding a relationship.
One of these oft-repeated platitudes, Chan says, is that a relationship will happen when you least expect it. She says this one is especially irresponsible, because it encourages singles not to put effort into meeting likeminded people, which is the best avenue for finding a relationship.
"These attitudes, they can spread and they can really stick in people's heads, because they're so catchy," Chan says. "And then people start believing them as truth."
Some of the platitudes are also insulting. One of these, Chan says, is that you have to love yourself before you can love anybody else, which another chronically single TikToker says he's tired of hearing in a video viewed 2.3 million times.
Get the latest internet buzz to your inbox with USA TODAY's Everyone's Talking newsletter.
It's true self-love is critical − but telling this to a single person implies they're single because they don't love themselves, which is not necessarily true.
"This journey of healing, it's not like you have to complete it before you're finally ready to meet someone," Chan says, adding it's not a journey that stops once you do get into a relationship either. "A lot of your growing can come in relation with someone else."
More:Chaotic Singles Parties are going viral on TikTok. So I went to one.
How to give real dating advice to your single friends
Blaine Anderson, a dating coach for men, says the complaints on TikTok show that we need to have empathy for those who want to find love but are struggling to do so.
However, she also says some of the chronically single TikTokers may be holding themselves back in ways they don't realize. For instance, many of them bemoan getting told to "put yourself out there," noting that they do go out to bars and are on dating apps.
While it's true they may be putting themselves out there in these ways, Anderson says the TikTokers may not be doing so in the best way. Instead of going to bars and clubs, she recommends meeting other singles through shared activities and interests.
Also, evaluate "how many new people you're meeting on a daily or weekly basis," Anderson says. "Technology and these social apps can lead people to thinking that they're meeting a lot of people and they're talking to a lot of people, but, if they actually write down every time they talk to a new person, the number is usually pretty low in real life."
Dating rules to avoid:Relationship experts say these common dating 'rules' are actually ruining your love life
If you know someone who's chronically single, often just listening and showing empathy are all they want from you. Only give advice, Anderson says, if they ask for it.
Also, don't assume singleness as necessarily a problem that needs to be solved.
"There's nothing inherently wrong with being single," Anderson says. "Approaching somebody and then giving them advice on how they can correct that problem, you're making a lot of assumptions."
Have you heard of 'relation-shopping'?It might be why you're still single.
And, if you're someone who's chronically single and does want a relationship, "Keep knowing that your path is unique," Chan says. "Maybe you'll spend your 20s in a relationship, and then maybe your later years not. Maybe it's going to be the other way around. There is no one right way."
veryGood! (6)
Related
- Jorge Ramos reveals his final day with 'Noticiero Univision': 'It's been quite a ride'
- Are colon cleanses necessary? Experts weigh in on potential risks.
- Florida Panthers Stanley Cup championship rings feature diamonds, rubies and a rat
- Supreme Court to hear challenge to ghost-gun regulation
- Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie return for an 'Encore,' reminisce about 'The Simple Life'
- How long does COVID live on surfaces? Experts answer your coronavirus FAQs.
- Michigan university president’s home painted with anti-Israel messages
- Lunds & Byerlys' Lone Star Dip recalled due to 'potential mold growth contamination'
- From bitter rivals to Olympic teammates, how Lebron and Steph Curry became friends
- Ohio TV reporter shot, hospitalized following apparent domestic incident: Reports
Ranking
- British swimmer Adam Peaty: There are worms in the food at Paris Olympic Village
- Rare $100 Off Dyson Airwrap for October Prime Day 2024 — Grab This Can't-Miss Deal Before It Sells Out!
- Defendant pleads no contest in shooting of Native activist at protest of Spanish conquistador statue
- Lunds & Byerlys' Lone Star Dip recalled due to 'potential mold growth contamination'
- Charges: D'Vontaye Mitchell died after being held down for about 9 minutes
- Fantasy football Week 6: Trade value chart and rest of season rankings
- Texas governor offers $10K reward for information on fugitive accused of shooting chief
- Heidi Klum Teases Her Claw-some Halloween Costume
Recommendation
Sonya Massey's father decries possible release of former deputy charged with her death
Should you give your dog gluten-free food? How to tell if pup has an intolerance.
Homeownership used to mean stable housing costs. That's a thing of the past.
Lisa Marie Presley Shares Michael Jackson Was “Still a Virgin” at 35 in Posthumous Memoir
'Most Whopper
Love Is Blind's Hannah Jiles Shares Before-and-After Look at Weight Loss Transformation
California home made from wine barrels, 'rustic charm' hits market: See inside
Trump spoke to Putin as many as 7 times since leaving office, Bob Woodward reports in new book